Mass Effect Quotes

Garrus: If this ends with the both of us dying in a giant explosion killing a Reaper, just remember. I took the kill shot.

Legion: Human history is a litany of blood shed over different ideals of rulership and afterlife.

Shepard: The bartender over there?

Liara: The matriarch hired by the asari gouvernment to track my movements?

Shepard: She’s your father.

Eve: I should consider him an enemy. Yet I think seeing my sisters and I changed something in him.

Mordin: Asari-vorcha offspring have an allergy to dairy, and… da-di-di-dee-di-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-di-di-di…

Shepard: Well it wasn’t his ear.

[Shepard sends a probe to uranus]

EDI: Really, Commander?

[launches another probe]

EDI: [sighs] Probing Uranus…

Legion: Does this unit have a soul?

Tali: Yes.

Traynor: What’s the difference between Commander Shepard and a krogan?

Shepard: I don’t know.

Traynor: One is a rampaging juggernaut of head-butting destruction…

Shepard: And the other doesn’t have a wisecracking assistant to keep in line.

Traynor: Oh that one is even funnier than the number of testicles punchline.

Garrus: You realize this plan has me walking into hell too… ha just like old times.

Garrus: I’m Garrus Vakarian and this is now my favorite spot on the Citadel!

Jack: Now take your balls out of your purse and kick some ass.

Tali: Don’t say “Ah” to me, you sound like a vorcha.

Javik: Your “Liara” asari asks many questions. You would think she’d never seen a prothean before.

Javik: This has been… amusing.

Shepard: Oh?

Javik: To discover the most primitive races of my time now rule the galaxy. The asari, the humans, the turians…

Liara: There’s also the salarians.

Javik: The lizard people evolved?

Liara: I believe they are amphibian.

Javik: They used to eat flies.

Liara: Joker, really? I have work to do.

Joker: Aw, come on it’s just one simple question.

Liara: Then look it up on the extranet.

Joker: You can’t believe everything you find there, it’s more reliable to ask a friendly asari.

Liara: I’m not telling you if my “hair tentacles” move!

Joker: Fine. Deny me the answer I’ve been seeking for years. With this war on, we could die at any second, you know.

Shepard: You know he’s going to keep bothering you till you tell him.

Liara: [sigh] They’re semi flexible cartilage-based scalp crests that grow into shape. And they don’t “flop around”.

Joker: Yes! Thanks Liara, I gotta tell Vega I was right.

Liara: Well, at least he’s making friends.

Tali: I heard about your talk with Liara. You act so angry, but you really care about us.

Javik: I need you functional to destroy the Reapers.

Tali: You care about Liara. You like her.

Javik: You are intoxicated. A foolish risk given quarian symbiotic physiology.

Tali: And you like me, too!

Javik: This conversation is over.